Adoption...WOW

That's how we roll

2009-08-24T20:11:00.003-05:00

So I'm posting a clip of our precious little guy taken today...as you will see, the post is aptly named.

He is also really into growling right now...too cute!

Inquiring minds want to know!

2009-07-19T11:38:00.001-05:00

Where have we been?? What have we been doing??
Emory was four months old this past Thursday.
He now weighs 14.5 lbs and is a champ at holding his head up. When put on his tummy he is doing his darndest to lift his little head and just moves his legs back and forth, back and forth. We are well on our way to crawling I believe…Whew! I had a dream he just started walking. I was totally screwed as far as child proofing goes!!
What else? Let’s see. He is talking all the time. Every morning we are woken up with his precious little coos! And just laughing a big belly laugh…we keep trying to get all this on video but he seems to be a little camera shy. Week before last he discovered his feet. Now one of his favorite pass times is lifting up his feet so he can grab them as he lies on his back. I’m not certain but I think he may be trying to get them to his mouth! Oh yes, the most important thing of all…he is sleeping through the night!!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!
I’m not sure if you all are aware but parenting is VERY hard work. Not to mention working at the same time you are parenting. I used to say I could NEVER be a stay at home Mommy but I have now changed my tune. The work never ends and sometimes you just need to go to work so you can get a break from it…then when you come back home you welcome a different kind of work.
Another thing we have discovered…there are varying degrees of tiredness. I believe some people call it mommy brain and it begins during pregnancy. Obviously I was never pregnant but had no trouble acquiring said “mommy brain” once Emory arrived. All the people I work with can attest to this. It’s VERY irritating because you forget things you would never forget sans “mommy brain” /extreme tiredness. I am horrified at all of the things I simply cannot retain in my brain (no I wasn’t trying to rhyme there). I am positive that there must be documentation of this somewhere. I know I have read about people nearing insanity when faced with extreme sleep deprivation. It’s nowhere near that, but I will say that there is no room in my mind for minute details about things. It is very busy helping me to make it through my day without falling flat on my face as though I am narcoleptic. Case in point it took me a full 2 minutes to come up with the word narcoleptic. That may not seem so out of the ordinary to many of you. Those of you who know me well can attest to the fact that I pride myself on being well spoken and having an excellent vocabulary. Ah sleep deprivation…how I hate you. It’s all for a very good cause but as I said there are definitely varying degrees. I will share ours with you from greatest to least.
Zombie-you are walking around and doing all the things you need to get done but not quite sure how. Given the “go ahead” from your brain you (i.e. Emory is safe and cared for at this point-perhaps even asleep) may very well fall asleep at any given moment.
Exhaustion-this may sound as though it sound be worse than Zombie. It’s not. Once you reach Zombie you no longer realize how tired you are. With exhaustion you just want to cry. This state comes almost immediately after you bring your baby home with you from the hospital. It comes when you are having to feed them every 2-3 hours sometimes even waking them to do so…now that just doesn’t make good sense does it…waking a sleeping little baby. But you must so they can get all the nutrients they need to grow and make all the connections they need to make in their waking hours. I think Blake and I first experienced exhaustion while we were still in the state of Babyville. After we left his aunt and uncle’s house and returned to the hotel. Emory was crying and crying. We still didn’t really know so much what to do when Emory became very upset…maybe it was his tummy, maybe he was tired, maybe he just wasn’t used to being in the world yet. WHO KNOWS! We would stay in the hotel because there was no way in hell we were taking him out in public to expose him unnecessarily to germs (but we did take him to places out doors) and watch movies. One of us would go get take out and the other would stay awaiting the moment Emory would awake screaming. We would take turns holding him and swaddle him. As he cried we would ask “What’s wrong with him?” “I don’t know” the other would reply. “You try!” and trade off. It can be brutal and one of the most difficult parts of being first time parent (that we have yet to see). While in the “exhaustion” state you rarely know what day it is and only eat about one good time a day.
Fatigue-this occurs when you are still deceived into thinking that you will retain some semblance of what you formerly knew as a “regular” sleeping schedule. That will never occur again. You are in desperate need of a nap and think you will be able to “catch up” on your sleep. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha (evil laugh). This can also occur if you are young and going out night after night after night…something I know nothing about…anymore (as of about 8 years).
Overtired-I cannot believe everything the universe had me endure today. I stayed up too late yesterday, have to get up too early tomorrow, didn’t get everything on my list done and am going to a midnight opening day showing of Harry Potter (insert favorite movie).
Tired-usual end of the day, I worked my butt off, barely fit everything I needed to do into one day, and now must fall face down into my bed and not wake up for at least 8 hours.
More fun to come soon…

Two months...how did that happen?

2009-05-27T13:19:00.003-05:00

As I write this Emory is sleeping on my lap. While we do follow the "back to sleep" recommendation of the AAP, Emory's preferred method of getting to sleep is to lay on his tummy atop the
Boppy pillow. He is usually wrapped up in a miracle blanket if we are trying for nap or night time sleep rather than just helping to ease a tummy ache and sucking away on his paci. After he is good and asleep I transfer him to his bed...the trouble is today, every time I try to move him in there he cries after only 3-5 minutes of being in his bed...oh well, at least I will get some blogging in.

Admittedly, I have not held up my end of the bargain being a blogging mommy. You see, I did not anticipate the amount of effort involved in keeping a little precious boy happy ON TOP OF going back to work.

Things are going well on that front. On Mondays until Blake is out of school for the summer my Mom is watching him. He stays in the nursery at the Center on Tuesdays and Thursdays where he is the only baby. On Fridays we do not have children but only staff on site, so I have the privilege of caring for Emory myself while we have our meeting and discuss the children's programming etc. On Wednesdays I stay home with him, hence my opportunity to blog!

I was also hesitant to blog much after we first got back home because I was dealing with lots of emotions...both rational and irrational ones. My Momma Bear instincts really came out once Emory was with us. While I wanted to give Lori all the information she wanted and need to feel secure, the amount of contact we were receiving from her made me feel less authentic as Emory's Mommy (I told you it wasn't all rational). I tried to talk to Blake about this but he just didn't get it. I told him that Emory doesn't have another father (for all intents and purposes that individual is just a sperm donor) but he does have another mother who cares very much for him. Lori loves him so much that she found the perfect Mommy and Daddy for him!

Now when we don't hear from her I miss her but want to give her the space and privacy she needs to grieve and move forward .

She is doing well. She completed her school semester with excellent grades even with the distraction of being pregnant and giving birth to Emory and all that came with that. She will spend her Summer working and taking a class. She is currently in the process of purchasing her first home where she will live with her boyfriend Justin and their pups. We are very excited for her!!

Speaking of pups, sadly we had to make the decision to say goodbye to our forever friend DJ doggie. He had a tumor in the sinus passages that had grown almost to the size of a golf ball and was spreading for one side of his snout to the other. We had been taking him to the vet once a month and had missed a month while out of town for Emory's birth and the finalization of the adoption. He had lost more than a quarter of his body weight during that time simply because it was too difficult for him to eat. The vet said he was probably hungry (very sad) and he was tired all the time because he had such a hard time sleeping as he couldn't find a comfortable position in which to sleep. Sam seems to be doing okay with the transition. At first he looked for him a bit but now other than being more upset when we leave he seems to be fine but I know he must miss him. Blake had a very difficult time with it and was the saddest I have ever seen him. DJ was his dog before we met and Blake had been with him for almost 11 years...since DJ was six weeks old. I know we will see him again someday.

As for Emory he is doing wonderfully! He is gaining weight and growing as he should. At his 2 month Dr appointment he weighed 11 lbs. 12 oz. and was 22.5 inches long! I actually heard him squeal with laughter for the first time this morning! Here is a video I posted on face book recently for those of you who have not seen it. It was taken on May 23rd, 2009.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twPzHImSJTk

Emory is hitting his milestones. You could see from that video he is cooing and "talking" away. He will track us as we walk and smiles all the time at Mommy and Daddy (and other people too but we are the important ones). He is batting at toys and grabbing and holding on to them occasionally. He loves to kick toys and we think he may end up being a lefty. Emory is VERY aware of his environment and looking around ALL THE TIME. He is doing really well holding his head up but still needs practice. He likes to ride in the car, but becomes displeased rather quickly if we stop for too long or have to slow down for traffic. He does not appreciate the need to be snugly secured in his car seat, so that's big fun...usually he can be distracted with music (he loves classical) or white noise or rocking his carrier so his "friends" the Very Hungry Caterpillar and Mr Lion will shake and jingle. His swing he inherited from future girlfriend Christina (who is also adopted) is his absolute fave! We fed him rice cereal for the first time this past Monday night...he actually ended up with more of it in his tummy than on his face or Mommy! What a fun Memorial Day! Not quite like the old days (huh Anne??).

Oh well...we are loving parenthood and EVERYTHING that come along with it!!

Sleep Deprived

2009-04-09T10:35:00.014-05:00

As Blake returned to work yesterday I am left to care for Emory by myself during the daytime. I took care of all the nighttime feedings the previous night so he could get some rest. This morning (at 4:45) my little one woke up hungry...I just couldn't do it, Blake got up and got Emory fed and happy just in time for Blake to wake up and get ready for work!

--Sorry honey...I was just exhausted!! Hope you make it through your day and track meet okay.--

I need to plan out the nighttime feeding schedule a little better.

All of the feeding, changing and getting him to sleep can be all consuming...only to do it again. I mean, people tell you but you have no idea until you live it. I've been saying that I feel like the "Time to make the donuts" guy, only it's "Time to feed the baby; I fed the baby".

In this clip you don't see him meeting himself at the door saying "It's time to make the donuts, I made the donuts"

We have had TONS of visitors and are beyond fortunate to have the love and support of so many friends and family. Thank you all!!

Lori is busy coping with her return to school and dealing with questions from people wanting to know how the baby is...how difficult that has to be. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

She made a LOVELY scrapbook for us beginning with the time we first met her. Here are some pictures of a few pages.

What an wonderful gift and such a special thing to be able to share with Emory as he grows up (not to mention all of our friends and family now)! This truly speaks to the generous spirit Lori possesses.

For all of those inquiring minds...Sam and D.J. are adjusting well. Sam is much more interested than D.J. and very sweetly will come and investigate him and give him kisses (we allow them on the back of the head).

Adoption 101

2009-04-03T19:30:00.004-05:00

Today we took Emory to see our Doctor Kenneth LeCroy, here in the metroplex. He is doing wonderfully and now weighs 9 lbs 7 oz and is 21 inches long! Our next visit will be for our 2 month check-up and begin following Dr. Sears Alternative Vaccination Schedule.

http://www.askdrsears.com/

As promised here is a list or commonly used terms in adoption...

Adoption Terminology
Many families new to the adoption process often find themselves inundated with unfamiliar words and phrases commonly used in the adoption world. While some adoption terms may be familiar, there are many words and phrases that often leave waiting families scratching the heads and wondering what they mean.
The following is a list of commonly used adoption words and phrases:
Adoptee: Any person who has been adopted.
Adoption Facilitator: Unlicensed organizations or individuals offering adoption services, illegal in many states.
Adoption Triad/Triangle: The three parties involved in an adoption (adoptee, adoptive parents and birth parents).
Adoptive Parent: Someone who legally assumes parental rights/responsibilities for an adopted child or children.
Birth Mother/Birth Father/ Birth Parents: Biological mother or father of a child that is adopted or planning to be adopted (sometimes referred to as natural or first mother/father).
Closed Adoption: Adoption in which confidentiality of both adoptive parents and birth parents are protected under the law, the courts seal all records.
Consent: The legal document signed by the birth mother and birth father allowing their child to be placed for adoption (also referred to as a surrender or relinquishment).
Finalization: Court action that grants permanent legal custody of a child to the adoptive parents.
Home Study: A study that is conducted on all prospective adoptive parents by an authorized adoption professional in their state. A home study is normally completed prior to placement of a child in the home and validates suitability to adopt for the courts.
Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children (ICPC): The legal compact between states that allows for the placement of children for adoption across state lines. Required when the birth mother and adoptive parents reside in different states.
Living Expenses: Expenses in adoption that help the birth parents with items such as rent, food, clothing and utilities. Living expenses are provided by prospective adoptive parents and are provided based on the birth parents' needs and state laws.
Match: When a birth mother and adoptive family are connected in anticipation that the birth mother will place her baby with that adoptive family.
Open Adoption: An adoption where birth parents and adoptive parents meet, names and addresses may be exchanged and communication may continue indefinitely; terms of open adoptions vary greatly depending on the needs and comfort levels of everyone involved.Post-Placement Visits: Meetings and interviews with an adoptive family once a child has been placed with them that is typically conducted by the professional who completed the home study.Semi-Open Adoption/Semi-Closed Adoption: Adoption where the adoptive family and birth parents may talk, meet and have correspondence after the adoption, but little or no identifying information is exchanged.

**courtesy of americanadoptions.com who put out a wonderful newsletter geared toward adoptive and birth families several times a month.

Parenthood

2009-03-24T18:06:00.006-05:00

It is difficult to believe but Emory has been in this world for 1 week and 1 day. We have been with him, caring for him for a week. I am not sure if it seems a longer or shorter amount of time. We are becoming a family, Emory, Blake and myself. We are awaiting our court date for our official decree of adoption in Lori's home state. We have been and will be staying in hotels and with relatives until our waiting period is complete here.

Lori seems to be doing well. She is focusing on school and her relationship with her boyfriend (who is not Emory's biological father). I selfishly had never considered how all of this must have effected their relationship...her running off to Texas to stay with virtual strangers over Thanksgiving and giving birth to another mans child.

I am so exhausted from early morning feedings, difficulty burping, healing from circumcision, etc. that I really cannot share all of what I am feeling right now. My heart is very full!!

At any rate we have started a web page so our friends and family can look at pictures of Emory while we complete our stay in the state of Babyville.

http://emorywright.shutterfly.com/

Enjoy!

Babyville here we come!

2009-03-15T10:59:00.004-05:00

I’m not sure if you guys have noticed but Emory will be born tomorrow!!!!
I know, I know… I have left you all without an update for so very long. I apologize. I was sick off and on and then what with getting everything prepared for people to take over while I am out on my maternity leave…well it has been a little hectic.
I also must admit that in the past couple of weeks I have used work to distract me from the stress that I was experiencing as the final days passed. You see, I learned a powerful lesson when I got married and worked up through the Wednesday before getting married on Friday. If you are going to work right up to these big life events then you have to do just that. Work. If you (or if I) divide my attention between the coming life event and think about every detail (as I like to do) and the work, it will drive you crazy and quite frankly it makes me a bit of a bitch not to mention a basket case! I think I managed pretty well these past few days if I do say so myself.
I focused on the work and rarely allowed myself to think about all the rest…all the things I have absolutely no control over whatsoever. It is very nerve wracking. It must be difficult enough being the person giving birth to the baby. That being Lori in this case, of course. Thank GOD she is having a C-section. At least that much of the “plan” I could plan on.

That is the only thing that has allowed me any sanity has been “my plan”. Anytime someone wanted to mess with my plan it really threw me for a loop! At some point someone somewhere wanted to change a piece of the plan…I think it was whether we needed to arrive in babyville (that is what I am calling where Emory will be born to protect Lori’s privacy) on Sunday or move it up to Saturday. Wow, even something so simple nearly sent me off the deep end!
I (we) are so excited but also full of anxiety. Basically fear of the unknown. What will it be like in the hospital? How will Lori feel? How will we feel? Are we all ready? I think we are…we certainly have enough stuff for him. We have read What to Expect the First Year, or at least all that is pertinent to us at this point. We took a Baby Basics class where we learned how to swaddle the baby, how the bathe the baby, and Blake learned how to open the little sticky tabs on the diaper as he had never seen one up close and personal (what have I gotten myself into!).
Now what about Lori, you ask. She is very ready for Emory to exit her body. She has felt like she is about to pop for at least 2 weeks now! I actually developed enough courage (via text message-that is where most all my most difficult questions are asked of late) to ask her if she is still feels good about Blake and I being Emory’s parents? She replied “Of course, you don’t even have to ask that. You and Blake are Emory’s parents and always will be.” Whew. No one (except another adoptive parent) can understand how good it feels to hear that. I spoke to Francesca (my friend who is an adoptive mother) about it. She commented about how that is such a difficult thing to ask, but if you don’t it will just eat you alive.
As you may remember, it is still a possibility that Lori could decide to parent the baby. I don’t think that will happen but a small little part of me has to stay prepared for that possibility. Yesterday we were texting about how things will kind of “go” while we are all at the hospital. She said that she imagined we would all be together with him in her room. I think that sounds great. I also suggested that while she is resting (a c-section has to be draining…no pun intended) we spend some time alone with Emory in the nursery. And, we will need to head to our room at the Hampton Inn to get our last night of uninterrupted sleep before he leaves the hospital on Tuesday. That will give her an opportunity to see him without us if she wants to. She said that she wants to spend as much time with us and him as possible as long as we are comfortable with it because he is our baby. Our baby! WOW! Leaving with us on Tuesday! WOW!!! Can you believe it!! Sorry for my digression… I think we have to trust her. She trusts us with raising and being the parents of this child. I have to believe that she knows what she is capable of dealing with.
We have grown to love this girl. Blake commented once that we would adopt her too if we could (I hope that doesn’t sound condescending). We want her to be a part of our lives and a part of Emory’s life as long as we don’t think it is to his detriment. If he becomes confused by all of it or was somehow a troubled child having a birthparent be a fixture might be more problematic but aside from that we anticipate her being a part of our lives in some capacity.
Yes, we have only committed to one visit a year for the first two years of his life but we absolutely want to stay in touch. After all, as much as we may want to we may never be able to adopt again. Shit ain’t cheap. That being said, any child Lori has will be Emory’s brother and/or sister and we certainly don’t want to deprive him of that. I guess we will cross that road when we come to it. I have read EXTENSIVELY about relationships of adoptive parents with birth mothers. They come in all shapes and sizes and the "open" part of an open adoption can be whatever a family needs it to be. Soon I will do an Adoption 101 post to help everyone understand some of the terms I may use time to time.

A huge “thank you” to everyone who has supported us through all of this process…Our family for literally giving us untold amounts of money so we could do this, the friends & family who put together showers for us, the people who came and gave us things to help us get ready for Emory, to Gretchen (seamstress extraordinaire-Carrie she could totally help you with your headband situation), to Lauren for watching our four legged children, and our co-workers for supporting us and covering for us to allow us to have this incredible part of our journey together!!!
More to come! I promise.

How did we get here?

2009-02-20T12:37:00.005-06:00

Blake and I have now been happily married for 4 years and 4 months. After we had been married for almost 2 years we started "trying" or at least not trying not to have children. We married at age 33 (for both of us, we are just a few months apart). We knew darn well that we were not spring chickens!

So this going about our business not trying not to went on for a year or so. Then my OB-GYN says "well, we aren't in a huge hurry but we can't exactly take our time either." By the way, I LOVE my OB-GYN. Her name is Julie Farrow and she currently practices in Plano. I was one of her first patients when she first began to practice. She has helped me with so many things that I dare never to talk about. I'll just say that I have paid to see her when my insurance would only cover other providers.

Back to my story...she wants me to take Clomid to make me hyper ovulate so there are more eggs that way we have a better chance of one of them being fertilized. At the same time she suggests that Blake go ahead and get checked out. One of the easiest things to do is rule out a fertility issue with the male.

So, my annual was in January and she wants me to take Clomid coordinating with my period (I forget the exact time frame, this was a while back), meanwhile Blake goes for fertility testing.

This is a REALLY fun part of the story. He goes into our family practitioner to get a referral. Gets said referral and goes to that doctor. They give him all sorts of hell about why is he there and we have to fill out paperwork to become "clients" of this doctor before they can test his sperm. (seriously like 24 pages of paperwork a piece...that, by the way, is nothing compared to the paper work that goes into adoption) So he goes back to family practitioner, on to next referral. Keep in mind that this "squirt in a cup" test is not something Blake really wants to do anyway.

Now it is February and the "timing" is right, we have yet to hear the results from Blake's fun test so I go ahead and take the Clomid and some other hormone that is supposed to help this situation...if you know me, more hormones is the LAST thing I need.

It was February 14, 2007 and we are having a lovely steak dinner and I can tell there is something wrong with Blake. I ask, and ask...nothing. Finally I am making some comment about some friends we know who at that point had chosen not to have children and he says "Well, we won't have to worry about that because I am impotent."

Happy Valentines Day!

It was a very emotional time for us...especially with me all pumped up with additional hormones. Blake seemed to think I would need to leave him because having children was so important to me...not just to me I say, but to US! I ended up sitting in his lap crying telling him that when I took my wedding vows I did not say "for richer, or poorer, in sickness and in health as long as we can have babies". "This is the 'sickness' part. We will find out what our options are." This night is the first time I suggest adoption. I knew this was what I wanted even then. Blake said I would want "my own baby". "It would be our baby" I say, and we would be helping someone else in the process and giving a baby who needs a family and home a VERY good one. I said something to that effect.

Blake underwent more tests (that we are still paying for...they charge ungodly amounts of $$$ to do fertility testing) and we came to find out that he had low motility (slow swimmers) and low sperm count. But we could, in fact, have children through in vitro with ICSI.

http://www.ivf.com/ivffaq.html

Take sperm from Blake, eggs from me, implant them in my uterus and see what happens. (kind of like the ocotomom only I would NEVER have 8 babies)

This is when we must become patients of the previously mentioned 24 page a person packet Doctors. They are a husband and wife endocrinologists/fertility specialist team in Bedford. My family practitioner is not really of fan of theirs but they have a good reputation. We end up choosing their partner (honestly not a big fan of her either so I'll not mention any ones names here). They do a sonogram to look at my ovaries. Everything looks normal. Now we are in fall 2008. They want me to get back on Birth Control so control my ovulation (so no placebos) and when we are ready we will go for it. We decide to choose January for my possible fertilization date. We go in they want us to take some blood tests to make sure everything is a go and we will move forward the next day. We get a call telling us that my FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) is at 27 which was way too high. They want me to go off the pill wait for my next period and take another blood test on day 2.

Let me explain. I had been through this on the pill, off the pill game before. My body does NOT respond well. Hormones...I told you. I get hot flashes, mood swings, the works. Ask Blake, it is swell. So now we wait. We wait for 4 months. On April 17th our wait ended...only to find out that my FSH level was still too high it was at a 12 and they like for it to be 10 and below on day two blah, blah, blah. I am diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. Yeah me! Perhaps the hot flashes, etc., should have been a clue to me.

I should tell you here that in January we began to discuss adoption again. Blake said lets just try both! We want more than one child anyway. We applied to a local adoption agency that rhymes with Sadney. On their initial application it asks if you have finished exploring fertility options and if that became an avenue to parenthood would you continue to pursue it. We responded honestly with a "yes". We were declined because of that. Blake was SOOO pissed. All that we had endured and now this. What a blow. But I wasn't bitter. Nu-uh. I just think they suck. They suck and they can suck IT.

We ended up talking with another agency called the Adoption Network Law Center. It was founded by so individuals much like us who had to go through all of the "fun" one must endure to travel down that road that takes them to their someday baby. A kind of one-stop shop for adoption. That is who we ended up going with. We wrote our first check to them on June 18, 2007.

http://www.adoptionnetwork.com/

Obviously it all happened pretty quickly from there. We did the home visit part of our home study in August, it was complete on August 28th and at ANLC by September 4th. We were matched with Lori officially on September 30, 2008!

It is ANLC who has helped lead us to this point where Lori found us and we anxiously await the arrival of Emory Reese Wright. Our very own someday baby. Only 3 weeks and 3 days left to go!!! Can you believe it?

So much to say...

2009-02-10T22:33:00.003-06:00

I have so many things I want to write about. The baby showers we have had, our "how we got here" story, all of my anxiety, and then of course all my usual "this is what I think about what is happening at this moment" type of information.
I will get to all of that in posts to come. First I want to share with all of you about a precious gift I received for Christmas. Both of my sisters gave me Christmas presents for Emory (this was back before we had finished the name game). My middle sister gave me the coolest thing. It is a very cozy blanket that is baby blue and made of thin fleece...kind of like polar fleece, a la Old Navy. On this blanket is written many statements kind of "on behalf of Emory". It is written in a kid hand writing type font. The statements are as follows.

The whole world welcomes my arrival * I sleep peacefully and with ease * I am filled with unlimited possibilities * I am loved * I am healthy, happy and strong * I am cherished * I am a bright light in the world * I have joined my perfect family * I am held by loving hands * What a gift I am * I am unique * I am a bundle of joy * I am perfect * My future is bright * I am safe and protected * I am peaceful and calm * I am nurtured and cared for * I am adored * I am surrounded by love and tender care * I am a true miracle

It is almost as if it were written just for Emory! Of course my favorite line I have bolded and italicized. It is called an Affirmawrap. They have a website. http://www.affirmagy.com/

More to come ASAP. I promise!

Waiting

2009-02-03T19:41:00.007-06:00

As the day when Emory will arrive draws nearer, we are left with the waiting.

Poor Lori. I know she must be completely miserable. All I want to do is go and help her. How could I not want to? I mean, what an incredible thing she is doing. Doing for us. Doing for Emory.

I have a good friend who has helped me so much throughout this entire process and journey. She and her husband recently adopted a beautiful baby girl. I could not have made it through without her. (thank you Francesca) She has helped me get ready for things that I didn't know were coming and face things other people cannot possibly begin to fathom.

Francesca, I don't think I even told you about this one...Blake and I went to register at Babies R Us. We sit down at the registry desk. We tell the lady that we need to register and ask for the paperwork, scan gun, etc. "The baby's mother will need to be present for you to create a registry." she says.

"I am the baby's mother." I reply (you stupid B, I would have liked to have added)...what, does she think the father is there trying to create a registry with his mistress or current wife attempting to leave the poor mom out of the loop???

"Oh, okay." she says.

Now she didn't make a huge deal out of it. Surely they encounter couples who are adopting creating registries???

This is just one little gems I've been faced with and I know there will be more to come.

My first shower is this weekend. I am so excited, yet there is a part of me that worries if people will be upset or find it inappropriate to "shower" me in fear of the adoption falling through.

Francesca has been preparing me for what no one else can. What will happen after the baby is born. She knows how much I love Lori. She knows because she loves her child's birthmom the same way.

There is no way not to love someone who is doing something so incredible for you and GIVING you the family you have been wanting and dreaming of for so long. Then you take into account what happens when the on the rare occasion you develop a strong relationship with your birthmom. You all have read how I feel about Lori.

I have to prepare myself for how I will feel when we get Emory. How Lori will feel. I know it will be a very emotional time. I know she wants us to be his parents but it worries me how she will handle the separation from the baby she has carried for nine months. She cannot help but grieve. The very last thing I want is to inflict ANY type of pain upon this person who is done something so incredible for us. I want to help her and protect her. She has already been through so much.

I know we will be so happy finally meeting our precious little guy and just being with him. Yet I know I will be hurting for her. Grief can be so overwhelming. I know she will be happy to get back to her life and once again be able to enjoy all of the "perks" of being a college student.

Lori, know that no matter how you are feeling you can talk to me and to us. I want you to know how VERY much we love you and want you to be happy. We will love Emory with every fiber of our being and he will always know what a wonderful, spectacularly unselfish person you are.

What's his name?

2009-01-26T20:56:00.000-06:00

This is a picture of Lori and her brother when they were little. Weren't they precious!!

I am not sure how choosing a name works with other couples but this is how it went with us. I went through baby name books. I choose names I liked and wrote them down. Blake went through the list and crossed out about 99.9% of them. Okay so maybe I am exaggerating just a little bit...he only crossed out 99% of them.

Initially I wanted to name him after my Daddy whose name was Jack. I thought very seriously about Jackson...until I realized that at my little school I run (where we have about 30 students total) there are 2 Jacks and 3 Jacksons. Plus if he went by Jack or even if we made his middle name Jack he would be Jack Wright. These are things you have to think about as a future parent. You don't want to set your child up for any more challenges than he is already going to have! For instance you don't want to make his initials be A. S. S. or P. M. S. or something like that.

I wanted to talk about it from almost the beginning, the name. Not Blake. "It's too soon to think about that," he said. Poor Lori. She kept asking and asking. I finally got Blake to agree that we would choose the name on the way to Steamboat. We ended up choosing his first name but were still choosing between 4 different middle names. It was quite a process!!

In the end we choose Emory Reese Wright. It has a nice ring to it...don't you think? If not, don't bother to tell us. It won't make any difference. It's pretty much a done deal!

Ooops!

2009-01-02T09:25:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I was looking at my blog and realized that the ticker is incorrect!!!!!!!

It said three months but there are just over TWO months left until the baby is due.

I knew it was getting close but hadn't exactly calculated! YIKES!

Blake and I just got back from vacation with one of our very dearest friends, Jason. He Lives in Denver (lucky dog) and we all went to Steamboat Springs together and then we were able to spend NYE there in the Mile High City. It was our last vaca as a childless couple.

I would like to say we made the most of it (which we truly enjoyed ourselves) but we just aren't as young as we used to be.

I spent a LOT of time watching itty bitty kiddos on their tiny skis and listening carefully to how old they are...we will anxiously await the time when we can take our guy to the slopes. While in Steamboat I bought him a bib that says "High Chair Today, Chair Lift Tomorrow".

It looks as though we will have to wait until he is 2 for him to experience this...

We had a great trip and a wonderful Christmas. Now we begin to get that nursery ready, prepare for showers, etc. It is a very exciting time!!!

Thanksgiving

2008-12-16T14:17:00.001-06:00

I am an awful little blogger. I apologize. Thanksgiving break + Christmas break= Chaos at work.

Good news for all of you guys...Lori has given me permission to post pictures of her!!

Isn't she precious!

That also means that as the child grows up Blake and I can use this website to give her some insight into our lives and she will be able to see all of the progress he makes and our happy lives together as a family.

One thing I may have overlooked is that this website could provide great insight for potential adoptive parents or even waiting families. I think I will pass the web address along to our ANLC adoption consultant so she can share it with other that it may help. Please feel free to do te same.
So, back to Thanksgiving! Lori arrived on Wednesday afternoon. We took her to see the Center and then went to eat lunch. That evening we were able to get together with some of the friends that are important to Blake and I and who will be involved with our lives and the baby on a daily basis. We took her to eat mexican food...Texas-style of course!

We went to a place in downtown Fort Worth that shall remain unnamed as I would have preferred to go to Mercado Juarez. It wasn't awful, this Fort Worth place but I maintain my position.

A lady I know that recently had a baby was about to get rid of all her maternity clothes and she very nicely offered them to Lori to go through. She is set for maternity wear!

Thursday we got up, I made my obligatory squash casserole and we were off to Highland Village to Thanksgiving with Blake's family at his sister's home.

It is scary wondering how the people you love may react to this situation. It is not enough that we have to muddle through exactly how we are to behave, and feel, etc. Bringing her to meet our family puts them (and Lori) in the same predicament.

She is so wonderful...handled all of it with such grace. I cannot imagine whave it must have felt like for her.

I am happy to say all of both of our families behaved themselves. I know how hard it was. Afterward I spoke to my oldest sister Angelia. She told me how nervous she had been bringing my nieces. You just never know what kids will say or do. My sister prepped them. "Now, I know it is hard but we can't act too excited, or ask too many questions." They were perfect young ladies when we celebrated with my family on Friday.

I do wish they had been more themselves so Lori could have seen how excited they are for the baby to come!

Turns out, one of the daughter's of my other sister Karla's long time boyfriend made the faux pas. "...so now you are donating your baby" she said. I know it offended Lori. Of course it did. Which upsets me with the child. I have to be judicious with my reactions. It must be so terribly difficult for kids to understand adoption and all of what goes into it. The emotions felt and choices made by the people involved must be very hard for them to comprehend. It is hard enough for us...the people involved. Then we throw our friends and families into the middle of our whirlwind.

All of the girls were so excited to meet her. They made up skits and cheers to perform for us.

Blake and I forget (mostly me I'm sure) how we reconciled all of these concepts and facts involved with adoption. If I ever take for granted that any of you should just know what is going on and how it all works, I apologize. Any questions any of you have please always feel free to ask.

On Friday while I prepared everything for the Thanksgiving celebration Blake took Lori shopping. Yes, shopping. On black Friday. He is the best. They went to the Galleria and Lori got to see the lighting of the Christmas Tree. Then they went to Fry's. It took quite a while for them to get back, so of course I was irritated with Blake, having to get everything done by myself. It all worked out perfectly because, of course, my family was late.

Saturday we got all of Lori's "new" maternity clothes packed and went to the Gaylord Texas to see the "ICE" exhibit. IT was soooooo cool. While it is a bit pricey it is totally worth it. 100%. If you are even considering going, do it!

Afterwards we went to eat with Blake's Dad and stepmom, his sister and her famliy and a couple of very good friends and then we were off to the airport.

All in all a very successful visit! Much like when you leave summer camp as a child, it made me sad when it was time for her to leave. I miss her and wish the visit could have lasted longer. Since then it has been back to business as usual. I know Lori has her own life to be part of that has absolutely nothing to do with us. As it should be. And that makes me sad and happy all at the same time. This adoption business is so bittersweet.

Meeting our Birthmom

2008-11-16T13:42:00.000-06:00

I know, I know...people keep telling me they have been checking and then checking back to see if I blogged about meeting Lori. The last week has been very hairy with work and what-not. So here it is...

We had little time to contemplate our meeting prior to it happening. Very much a whirlwind week spilling into the weekend we traveled. We got up that morning at about 6 a.m. Our flight left a bit after 8 and we arrived at our destination somewhere around 10:00ish a.m. We were so pleased that we could actually check into our hotel room prior to the typical 3:00 p.m. So up we went to room 219 and settled in a bit. I had called Lori as soon as we arrived and she was on her way to meet us. After unpacking a couple of items and surfing the TV channels in the luxurious Comfort Suites Lori called and she was downstairs!

Blake and I were both very casual donning jeans, t-shirts and Puma track jackets...with matching Puma shoes as well (of course). For those of you who do not know my husband has an affinity for tennis shoes that surely couldn't be rivaled by anyone. He has every color imaginable and the shoes must match the outfit (and the brand of jacket being worn if there is one).

When we walked out of the elevator Lori's first words were "You're so pretty!"

Very affirming. Everyone likes to be complimented but it seems even more important coming from the person who is potentially entrusting you to parent their unborn baby.

We had already decided that we would go eat lunch and then go to the Zoo. It was a brisk Fall day and all of the leaves on the trees were BEAUTIFUL. They really have a separate season there. It was incredible. This was not the best example of the changing trees but the best photo I got of it.

We went to one of her favorite burger joints. A fun little spot where they have cork ceiling tiles and it is customary for the patron to shoot toothpicks at the ceiling through straws...I am proud to say I am now an expert at this straw toothpick shooting. I cannot help but wonder if anyone has ever accidentally allowed a toothpick to drop through the straw into their throat choking them. Probably not or they surely wouldn't encourage this any longer.

Then it was off to the zoo where we got to see Polar and Panda Bears!

It was this particular Polar Bear's birthday. They sang happy birthday to him and gave him a giant what I must assume was a very tough plastic barrel to play with. He was afraid of it the the two younger (but not smaller) bears were having a grand old time with it! We also got to see the sea lions perform. The lady presenting explained how they had trained them "using operant conditioning". He-he...How do you prompt a sea lion to toss a frisbee with his mouth?? I only know how to teach kids...

I gave her the charm bracelet and everyone but Blake cried. She is quite a spectacular young lady. We even got to see the house where she grew up (the outside) and took pictures for the baby to see later in life.

Every once in a while Lori would ask a question about did we have this or that item for the baby yet, or had we decorated the nursery. I finally had to tell her that most adoptive couples are discouraged from completely preparing their baby room until after the baby arrives in case the adoption plan is not carried out. She said "I am going to do everything in my power to make sure you get my baby."

Now of course we (by we I mostly mean me) over analyze everything when it comes to this adoption. That just sounded ominous. There are certain things you just don't want to ask on the spot. I am not sure if it is out of respect for her and whatever semblance of privacy she has in all of this or fear of the unknown. I tried to delve a little further but didn't get very far. After talking with our adoption consultant we think it is just her coming to terms with the fact that if the birth father did come forward he does have a say in what happens. As of now he has not contacted her any further and the lawyer believes that the best way to proceed is not to contact him. The longer he goes without any contact because he is aware of the pregnancy the better our (and Lori's) case would be. It is considered abandonment.

The second day we were there she asked, "Now that y'all have met me do you still want my baby?" Of course!!!! We think she is great! All in all it was a very successful visit. It was too short and we are very excited to have her coming for Thanksgiving. We are trying to decide what to take her to do while she is here besides eating turkey. She is arriving on Wednesday and leaving on Saturday. We will be giving thanks with Blake's family on Thursday and mine on Friday. We are contemplating taking her to a Stars game since that is such a big part of what we enjoy doing. She also wants to try the Texas version of Mexican food (although she says the baby usually won't let her have it...it makes her nauseous).

If you guys have any brilliant ideas for what to do while she is in town pass the info along!

Overnight Stay

2008-11-07T21:14:00.000-06:00

Here is our first picture of the baby!

Tomorrow morning at 8:00 we fly out to met Lori in person! We are so excited but have barely had an opportunity to think about it over the last week...Blake's last football games were this week. In fact he is at the last high school game as I write this. I would love to have gone but I need to get packed to leave at the crack of dawn tomorrow and work has been VERY hectic for me this week.

My niece Jenny and her husband Joey have graciously agreed to stay here with our doggies. They are awesome! I have to sneak around and not allow the dogs to see our suitcases or they will go nuts. There will be barking. Lots and lots of barking. I am left to lure them outside, shut the door and RUN upstairs to grab our suit cases and stash them in the closet before allowing them back in (as they bark and scratch at the door).

I wanted to take the time to post as I have not had any all week long.

It is customary for the adoptive parents to present the birth mother. One of my friends who recently adopted a precious little girl gave her birth mother a photo album as a promise of the pictures that will come over the life of the child. I really liked that idea but wanted to do something different. I decided to go to James Avery. I got her a charm bracelet. Each year on the baby's birthday or adoption day perhaps, I will send her a new charm to represent what is going on in his life. For the first few years I will choose one for him of course. Then as he becomes old enough to understand I will allow him to choose his own charm to send to her. As I looked for a charm at the store the sales ladies are very helpful. They ask you who the bracelet is for in hopes of helping you to choose the perfect charm. I will admit they were at a bit of a loss to help me in this particular situation. People just don't know what to say or how to respond. One girl even recommended some of the mother charms. Umm yea, I don;t think that would work. The charm I choose to start her bracelet is in the shape of Texas and has a heart cut in the center. It will represent that a piece of her heart will always be in Texas.

I will be sure to update everyone on how it went!! This is the photo that revealed the sex of the baby...arrows and all. I had no idea they were so specific with their labels!!

Decisions

2008-10-22T18:39:00.000-05:00

As I asked a blog or so ago...How does one decide what to wear to meet the birth mother of one's someday baby?

It just so happens that Blake and I had to make this very decision not too long ago. You see about a month ago we received another "You have been selected" call. We were told it was an emergency situation. There was a healthy baby born in Texas that had to go home the following morning. We had to make the decision that night (I got the call about 9:00 p.m.) as to whether or not we would accept this child.

It was a Tuesday night. For those of you who know Blake realize that is a football game night (along with Monday and Friday). The adoption agency reached him by phone first...well now that I write that, it wasn't actually Blake that answered but one of his friends he coaches with. Blake was driving the bus filled with 7th or 8th grade (ahem) athletes. As the coach friend explained to the adoption consultant, "Well ma'am he can't speak with you right now. It is illegal to talk on a cell phone while driving a bus." Who knew, right?? But it does make good sense.

Here I am frantic thinking about making this life altering decision and Blake can't talk to me because he is driving a bus. And so my life as a mother during football season flashes before my eyes.

The baby is sick...Blake is driving a bus. The baby is hungry...Blake is at a football game. The baby-well you get the picture.

I honestly am terrified of football season motherhood. So much so I considered saying no to accepting this child. How selfish is that.

Blake got his buddy to help cover for him and he was able to come home early. By 11:30 we had decided to accept the baby and spoken with the birth mom on the phone. She and the baby were in a hospital not far from us in Dallas.

We were told to get to the hospital by 9:00 the following morning, which is not an easy task during DFW rush hour traffic. We were to bring our identification and our social security cards.

We set our alarms after calling our immediate family members sharing the potentially good news. "If we don't call and tell them, everybody will be really pissed," I said.

The mother had gone into labor a month early and had previously contacted the adoption agency but had yet to complete all the paperwork, etc. They have to get all of that done prior to contacting an adoptive couple. So we knew there was a chance, just as there is now with Lori, that the birth mom would decide to parent the child herself. That, in fact, is exactly what happened.

We woke up in plenty of time. I was a complete and total wreck. We chose our "meet your birth mom/new baby outfits". We looked very dapper if I do say so myself. We even managed to match one another a bit without meaning to. We both wore exceptionally cute shirts we had recently purchased on tax-free weekend at Banana Republic. I wore some equally cute dark jeans I got there as well...not sure what Blake wore as pants...jeans I want to say. Here is a picture of the same shirts worn on a different occasion.

I was a complete wreck. I forgot to grab our social security cards (Blake got them). I left all of the information about the birth mom at our house, including the directions to the hospital, her room number, the phone number of the adoption lawyer whom we were to call after our meeting to come "handle" everything, and of course my iPhone. So there goes our GPS too. Luckily we had Blake's phone and we were able to call back the adoption consultant to get all of the info regarding the birth mom, hospital, etc. We called Blake's sister to get directions to the hospital.

We arrive and go up to the maternity floor. We tell the nurses that we are potential adoptive parents for this woman's baby. Have you ever been looked at as if you are a vulture? Because we have..."They just took the baby into her. She is VERY upset," says the nurse.

"Well maybe we can make her feel better" said Blake.

We knock on the hospital room door. "Come in."

We go in and there this 31 year old woman holding her baby sobbing. We ask if she'd like some more time alone with the baby. She says yes. We tell her just to let the nurses know when she is ready for us to come back in.

So we sit and we wait. About 20-30 LONG minutes later the nurse come and tell us that she is ready for us to come in.

We walk in to the room and proceed to talk with her for about and hour and a half. The whole time the baby is there with us. He is a very handsome baby. Of course we couldn't really tell you much about what he looked like. It is very odd to meet someone for the sole purpose of maybe becoming the parents of their child. Do you look at the baby? How interested should you act in the baby? In her?? You don't want it to seem as though you might run out of the room at any moment with the baby but don't want to seem indifferent either. She asked me if I wanted to hold the baby...what kind of a question is that? Of course I wanted to hold the baby. And stare at the baby. But I can't. I have to remain neutral. We cannot seem too desperate and at the same time have to be respectful of her and her feelings. Of course the baby cries almost the entire time I am holding him.

Because she had given birth early and not completed her paperwork she had already spent 2 days with the baby.

Toward the end of our visit one of her friends comes in. She has been telling us about him and how he has been helping her "get her life together". Oh yes, she is a stripper. Also, she has no home. At that time she actually was living with a girlfriend and helping take care of her little girl...at budgetsuites.com.

Her friend tells us how sorry he is to interrupt and explains how he was supposed to arrive before we got there (yet we had already been there for about an hour-and she knew what time we were coming). "I just pawned a whole bunch of shit and I've got about 20 thousand dollars so you don't have to give away your baby." And then, once again, apologizes to us profusely.

I offered to give them some time to speak alone. He declines, but she says okay so we go out and wait once again.

Eventually the social workers from the hospital come out an tell us that she is just not ready to make a decision.

Very obviously we did not end up adopting this baby. It just wasn't meant to be. That baby was not our baby.

As that day went on we exchanged multiple phone calls with the adoption agency waiting to see if she had made any decisions. They told us the baby was to stay another day and she may make a choice during that time but for us not to plan on it. Just to go on about our lives.

Oh, okay...so I don't need to begin my maternity leave tomorrow.

What a huge emotional roller coaster.

These are the risks you expose yourself to when adopting. The solace we were given is that at least we didn't go through the birth mother's pregnancy getting to know her and supporting her emotionally and financially for her to ultimately decide to parent the child...because that can happen too.

As I said earlier, Lori could still make that choice. I suppose it could be compared to a mother having a miscarriage during her pregnancy.

We don't think that will happen. We believe that Lori is making these choices for all of the right reasons. She wants to build the strongest relationship possible with us for the benefit of the baby.

We are enjoying getting to know her and find her to be a very sweet and savvy young lady. We will travel to meet her in person November the 8th and 9th. We are even considering inviting her to spend Thanksgiving with us so she can see the life the baby will have and give her a chance to meet our families (perhaps we should hire some actors). Just kidding. Lots of our family read this. We love them and know they love us too. We are very thankful for the unending support we have received from them. We truly would not be able to do this without them.

Oh yes, today was the day. Lori had her ultra sound...IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!!

What kind of baby?

2008-10-14T11:08:00.000-05:00

This just in...I talked to Lori last night and she told me that on Tuesday October the 28th she has a doctors appointment and she will find out if it is a boy or a girl!!!! Yea!!

Our Birth Mom

2008-10-09T13:39:00.000-05:00

Now for more information about our birth mom...Blake said we should just refer to her as our B.M. but I said "no way, don't you know what that stands for??" He didn't, or at least did not associate it with our situation. Hmmmmm.

I would love to post a picture of her because she is so SUPER CUTE, but want to respect her privacy. Perhaps after we get to know her better I will have the courage to tell her about my blog and she can decide what information I share via posts. Until then you will only get the broad strokes...

Her name is Lori. She is 19 years old. She lives in a state that is definately part of the south and borders Texas. She is attending college at a small state school there. We were her 1st choice as adoptive parents for her baby. When asked why she chose us she responded because we included our dogs (Sam and D.J.) in our pictures on our webpage and talked about them in our "Dear Birthmother letter". She is going to school to become a vet. Also, it looks as though we go on alot of vacations and it is important to her that her child be able to experience that.

Her father passed away when she was 4 years old and her mother when she was 14. She lived with a guardian that was choosen by her mother from the time of her mother's death until she was emancipated at age 16. Needless to say this young lady has had her share of heartache.

All of that being said, we could not be more impressed with the maturity and selflessness she possesses. Never mind the whole "carrying a baby for 9 months and placing it with a family you know can provide a better life for it than you can right now" thing. In some open adoptions the birth parent(s) continue a relationship with the adoptive parents and the adoptive child post placement...so after the baby goes home with the adoptive mommy & daddy. Our adoption consultant, Tammy (who by the way has been incredible), mentioned that Lori wanted pictures and updates on the child every couple of months for the first two years and 2 times a year every years thereafter. That was no problem. I would find it strange if a birth mother didn't want something similar to that. She also to be able to see the baby post placement...well, we assumed that she meant one time. Not so. She meant ongoing...this is just not something we are open to.

Because that was something she wanted and we were not open to, Tammy (adoption consultant) had to call and offer to her to find other adoptive parents that would be more open to post placement visits.

Get this. Lori said "They are my 1st choice and if this is the only thing that we do not agree on and it is something I want it would be selfish of me to pick other parents because of something I want." WOW! Now I don't know about you guys but we were very impressed with this...particularly coming form a 19 year old. A 19 year old girl obviously wise beyond her years. In her paper work she states that she wants to pursue her dreams of becoming a vet and wants her child to grow up with TWO parents because she was unable to do so.

Lori is due on March 17th (or 19th or 20th, we've heard several dates; I like the 17th). So right now she is 18 weeks pregnant. She describes herself as having wavy blond hair, green eyes and olive skin. Lori says that she is a "jeans & t-shirt girl". She describes herself as being fun loving, ambitious, energetic, HONEST (she wrote it in all caps), blunt, very friendly, never met a stranger and talkative...Who does that sound like?? She is 5'1" (not everyone has to be tall Blake) and the birth father is 6'. Blake and I had the pleasure of speaking on the phone with her for about an hour and a half last Friday night. Currently we are making plans to go and meet her in person.

This bring up an interesting question. What does one wear to meet the birth mother of one's child (or someday baby)? We will let you know...

You've been selected!

2008-10-07T20:19:00.000-05:00

So this is what they tell you when you receive a phone call from your adoption agency telling you that a birth mother has chosen you to be the adoptive parents of her unborn child. Crazy, right?? A few months ago all of this being "selected", "open adoption", and "communicating with the birth mom" was so very foreign to us.

To talk about any of it sounds completely outrageous...I mean seriously. They pick you. You actually have to "market" yourselves to birth mothers. Apparently we are a pretty cute couple, the husband and I. From our very first talk with a representative from our adoption agency we were told, "our birth mothers just LOVE teachers"...well hallelujah. We did something right. We chose the correct profession.

You know, once you get to the point of considering adoption as your route to parenthood, generally you have already been met with a great deal of heartache. You feel like a big fat failure. You spend all of that time trying not to get pregnant then when you want to, well you know...

Of course there are couples out there that have no fertility issues and just want to adopt to begin or expand their family. That's great. I admire them. They are fantastic people...it is just not how we envisioned our family beginning...with a phone call telling us "You've been selected".

If I sound bitter it is just because this is all so cathartic, the blogging.

I am excited. We are excited. Excited to become parents. Excited that we were "selected". Excited to meet our birth mom. And, most of all, excited to meet our "someday baby". That is how I like to refer to the little bugger. And I mean that with all the love in the world. Our "someday baby" is the baby God has chosen for us. The birth mom is just His messenger and kind of delivery person, if you will.

More later on how we got to this point but for now you know we "have been selected" (imagine a deep authoritative voice that echoes saying it)...it sounds more important that way...and trust me it is VERY important!