Waiting

As the day when Emory will arrive draws nearer, we are left with the waiting.

Poor Lori. I know she must be completely miserable. All I want to do is go and help her. How could I not want to? I mean, what an incredible thing she is doing. Doing for us. Doing for Emory.

I have a good friend who has helped me so much throughout this entire process and journey. She and her husband recently adopted a beautiful baby girl. I could not have made it through without her. (thank you Francesca) She has helped me get ready for things that I didn't know were coming and face things other people cannot possibly begin to fathom.

Francesca, I don't think I even told you about this one...Blake and I went to register at Babies R Us. We sit down at the registry desk. We tell the lady that we need to register and ask for the paperwork, scan gun, etc. "The baby's mother will need to be present for you to create a registry." she says.

"I am the baby's mother." I reply (you stupid B, I would have liked to have added)...what, does she think the father is there trying to create a registry with his mistress or current wife attempting to leave the poor mom out of the loop???

"Oh, okay." she says.

Now she didn't make a huge deal out of it. Surely they encounter couples who are adopting creating registries???

This is just one little gems I've been faced with and I know there will be more to come.

My first shower is this weekend. I am so excited, yet there is a part of me that worries if people will be upset or find it inappropriate to "shower" me in fear of the adoption falling through.

Francesca has been preparing me for what no one else can. What will happen after the baby is born. She knows how much I love Lori. She knows because she loves her child's birthmom the same way.

There is no way not to love someone who is doing something so incredible for you and GIVING you the family you have been wanting and dreaming of for so long. Then you take into account what happens when the on the rare occasion you develop a strong relationship with your birthmom. You all have read how I feel about Lori.

I have to prepare myself for how I will feel when we get Emory. How Lori will feel. I know it will be a very emotional time. I know she wants us to be his parents but it worries me how she will handle the separation from the baby she has carried for nine months. She cannot help but grieve. The very last thing I want is to inflict ANY type of pain upon this person who is done something so incredible for us. I want to help her and protect her. She has already been through so much.

I know we will be so happy finally meeting our precious little guy and just being with him. Yet I know I will be hurting for her. Grief can be so overwhelming. I know she will be happy to get back to her life and once again be able to enjoy all of the "perks" of being a college student.

Lori, know that no matter how you are feeling you can talk to me and to us. I want you to know how VERY much we love you and want you to be happy. We will love Emory with every fiber of our being and he will always know what a wonderful, spectacularly unselfish person you are.