That's how we roll

So I'm posting a clip of our precious little guy taken today...as you will see, the post is aptly named.

He is also really into growling right now...too cute!

Inquiring minds want to know!

Where have we been?? What have we been doing??
Emory was four months old this past Thursday.
He now weighs 14.5 lbs and is a champ at holding his head up. When put on his tummy he is doing his darndest to lift his little head and just moves his legs back and forth, back and forth. We are well on our way to crawling I believe…Whew! I had a dream he just started walking. I was totally screwed as far as child proofing goes!!
What else? Let’s see. He is talking all the time. Every morning we are woken up with his precious little coos! And just laughing a big belly laugh…we keep trying to get all this on video but he seems to be a little camera shy. Week before last he discovered his feet. Now one of his favorite pass times is lifting up his feet so he can grab them as he lies on his back. I’m not certain but I think he may be trying to get them to his mouth! Oh yes, the most important thing of all…he is sleeping through the night!!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!
I’m not sure if you all are aware but parenting is VERY hard work. Not to mention working at the same time you are parenting. I used to say I could NEVER be a stay at home Mommy but I have now changed my tune. The work never ends and sometimes you just need to go to work so you can get a break from it…then when you come back home you welcome a different kind of work.
Another thing we have discovered…there are varying degrees of tiredness. I believe some people call it mommy brain and it begins during pregnancy. Obviously I was never pregnant but had no trouble acquiring said “mommy brain” once Emory arrived. All the people I work with can attest to this. It’s VERY irritating because you forget things you would never forget sans “mommy brain” /extreme tiredness. I am horrified at all of the things I simply cannot retain in my brain (no I wasn’t trying to rhyme there). I am positive that there must be documentation of this somewhere. I know I have read about people nearing insanity when faced with extreme sleep deprivation. It’s nowhere near that, but I will say that there is no room in my mind for minute details about things. It is very busy helping me to make it through my day without falling flat on my face as though I am narcoleptic. Case in point it took me a full 2 minutes to come up with the word narcoleptic. That may not seem so out of the ordinary to many of you. Those of you who know me well can attest to the fact that I pride myself on being well spoken and having an excellent vocabulary. Ah sleep deprivation…how I hate you. It’s all for a very good cause but as I said there are definitely varying degrees. I will share ours with you from greatest to least.
Zombie-you are walking around and doing all the things you need to get done but not quite sure how. Given the “go ahead” from your brain you (i.e. Emory is safe and cared for at this point-perhaps even asleep) may very well fall asleep at any given moment.
Exhaustion-this may sound as though it sound be worse than Zombie. It’s not. Once you reach Zombie you no longer realize how tired you are. With exhaustion you just want to cry. This state comes almost immediately after you bring your baby home with you from the hospital. It comes when you are having to feed them every 2-3 hours sometimes even waking them to do so…now that just doesn’t make good sense does it…waking a sleeping little baby. But you must so they can get all the nutrients they need to grow and make all the connections they need to make in their waking hours. I think Blake and I first experienced exhaustion while we were still in the state of Babyville. After we left his aunt and uncle’s house and returned to the hotel. Emory was crying and crying. We still didn’t really know so much what to do when Emory became very upset…maybe it was his tummy, maybe he was tired, maybe he just wasn’t used to being in the world yet. WHO KNOWS! We would stay in the hotel because there was no way in hell we were taking him out in public to expose him unnecessarily to germs (but we did take him to places out doors) and watch movies. One of us would go get take out and the other would stay awaiting the moment Emory would awake screaming. We would take turns holding him and swaddle him. As he cried we would ask “What’s wrong with him?” “I don’t know” the other would reply. “You try!” and trade off. It can be brutal and one of the most difficult parts of being first time parent (that we have yet to see). While in the “exhaustion” state you rarely know what day it is and only eat about one good time a day.
Fatigue-this occurs when you are still deceived into thinking that you will retain some semblance of what you formerly knew as a “regular” sleeping schedule. That will never occur again. You are in desperate need of a nap and think you will be able to “catch up” on your sleep. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha (evil laugh). This can also occur if you are young and going out night after night after night…something I know nothing about…anymore (as of about 8 years).
Overtired-I cannot believe everything the universe had me endure today. I stayed up too late yesterday, have to get up too early tomorrow, didn’t get everything on my list done and am going to a midnight opening day showing of Harry Potter (insert favorite movie).
Tired-usual end of the day, I worked my butt off, barely fit everything I needed to do into one day, and now must fall face down into my bed and not wake up for at least 8 hours.
More fun to come soon…

Two months...how did that happen?

As I write this Emory is sleeping on my lap. While we do follow the "back to sleep" recommendation of the AAP, Emory's preferred method of getting to sleep is to lay on his tummy atop the
Boppy pillow. He is usually wrapped up in a miracle blanket if we are trying for nap or night time sleep rather than just helping to ease a tummy ache and sucking away on his paci. After he is good and asleep I transfer him to his bed...the trouble is today, every time I try to move him in there he cries after only 3-5 minutes of being in his bed...oh well, at least I will get some blogging in.


Admittedly, I have not held up my end of the bargain being a blogging mommy. You see, I did not anticipate the amount of effort involved in keeping a little precious boy happy ON TOP OF going back to work.


Things are going well on that front. On Mondays until Blake is out of school for the summer my Mom is watching him. He stays in the nursery at the Center on Tuesdays and Thursdays where he is the only baby. On Fridays we do not have children but only staff on site, so I have the privilege of caring for Emory myself while we have our meeting and discuss the children's programming etc. On Wednesdays I stay home with him, hence my opportunity to blog!


I was also hesitant to blog much after we first got back home because I was dealing with lots of emotions...both rational and irrational ones. My Momma Bear instincts really came out once Emory was with us. While I wanted to give Lori all the information she wanted and need to feel secure, the amount of contact we were receiving from her made me feel less authentic as Emory's Mommy (I told you it wasn't all rational). I tried to talk to Blake about this but he just didn't get it. I told him that Emory doesn't have another father (for all intents and purposes that individual is just a sperm donor) but he does have another mother who cares very much for him. Lori loves him so much that she found the perfect Mommy and Daddy for him!


Now when we don't hear from her I miss her but want to give her the space and privacy she needs to grieve and move forward .


She is doing well. She completed her school semester with excellent grades even with the distraction of being pregnant and giving birth to Emory and all that came with that. She will spend her Summer working and taking a class. She is currently in the process of purchasing her first home where she will live with her boyfriend Justin and their pups. We are very excited for her!!


Speaking of pups, sadly we had to make the decision to say goodbye to our forever friend DJ doggie. He had a tumor in the sinus passages that had grown almost to the size of a golf ball and was spreading for one side of his snout to the other. We had been taking him to the vet once a month and had missed a month while out of town for Emory's birth and the finalization of the adoption. He had lost more than a quarter of his body weight during that time simply because it was too difficult for him to eat. The vet said he was probably hungry (very sad) and he was tired all the time because he had such a hard time sleeping as he couldn't find a comfortable position in which to sleep. Sam seems to be doing okay with the transition. At first he looked for him a bit but now other than being more upset when we leave he seems to be fine but I know he must miss him. Blake had a very difficult time with it and was the saddest I have ever seen him. DJ was his dog before we met and Blake had been with him for almost 11 years...since DJ was six weeks old. I know we will see him again someday.


As for Emory he is doing wonderfully! He is gaining weight and growing as he should. At his 2 month Dr appointment he weighed 11 lbs. 12 oz. and was 22.5 inches long! I actually heard him squeal with laughter for the first time this morning! Here is a video I posted on face book recently for those of you who have not seen it. It was taken on May 23rd, 2009.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twPzHImSJTk

Emory is hitting his milestones. You could see from that video he is cooing and "talking" away. He will track us as we walk and smiles all the time at Mommy and Daddy (and other people too but we are the important ones). He is batting at toys and grabbing and holding on to them occasionally. He loves to kick toys and we think he may end up being a lefty. Emory is VERY aware of his environment and looking around ALL THE TIME. He is doing really well holding his head up but still needs practice. He likes to ride in the car, but becomes displeased rather quickly if we stop for too long or have to slow down for traffic. He does not appreciate the need to be snugly secured in his car seat, so that's big fun...usually he can be distracted with music (he loves classical) or white noise or rocking his carrier so his "friends" the Very Hungry Caterpillar and Mr Lion will shake and jingle. His swing he inherited from future girlfriend Christina (who is also adopted) is his absolute fave! We fed him rice cereal for the first time this past Monday night...he actually ended up with more of it in his tummy than on his face or Mommy! What a fun Memorial Day! Not quite like the old days (huh Anne??).

Oh well...we are loving parenthood and EVERYTHING that come along with it!!

Sleep Deprived

As Blake returned to work yesterday I am left to care for Emory by myself during the daytime. I took care of all the nighttime feedings the previous night so he could get some rest. This morning (at 4:45) my little one woke up hungry...I just couldn't do it, Blake got up and got Emory fed and happy just in time for Blake to wake up and get ready for work!

--Sorry honey...I was just exhausted!! Hope you make it through your day and track meet okay.--

I need to plan out the nighttime feeding schedule a little better.

All of the feeding, changing and getting him to sleep can be all consuming...only to do it again. I mean, people tell you but you have no idea until you live it. I've been saying that I feel like the "Time to make the donuts" guy, only it's "Time to feed the baby; I fed the baby".

In this clip you don't see him meeting himself at the door saying "It's time to make the donuts, I made the donuts"

We have had TONS of visitors and are beyond fortunate to have the love and support of so many friends and family. Thank you all!!

Lori is busy coping with her return to school and dealing with questions from people wanting to know how the baby is...how difficult that has to be. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

She made a LOVELY scrapbook for us beginning with the time we first met her. Here are some pictures of a few pages.

What an wonderful gift and such a special thing to be able to share with Emory as he grows up (not to mention all of our friends and family now)! This truly speaks to the generous spirit Lori possesses.

For all of those inquiring minds...Sam and D.J. are adjusting well. Sam is much more interested than D.J. and very sweetly will come and investigate him and give him kisses (we allow them on the back of the head).

Adoption 101

Today we took Emory to see our Doctor Kenneth LeCroy, here in the metroplex. He is doing wonderfully and now weighs 9 lbs 7 oz and is 21 inches long! Our next visit will be for our 2 month check-up and begin following Dr. Sears Alternative Vaccination Schedule.

http://www.askdrsears.com/

As promised here is a list or commonly used terms in adoption...

Adoption Terminology
Many families new to the adoption process often find themselves inundated with unfamiliar words and phrases commonly used in the adoption world. While some adoption terms may be familiar, there are many words and phrases that often leave waiting families scratching the heads and wondering what they mean.
The following is a list of commonly used adoption words and phrases:
Adoptee: Any person who has been adopted.
Adoption Facilitator: Unlicensed organizations or individuals offering adoption services, illegal in many states.
Adoption Triad/Triangle: The three parties involved in an adoption (adoptee, adoptive parents and birth parents).
Adoptive Parent: Someone who legally assumes parental rights/responsibilities for an adopted child or children.
Birth Mother/Birth Father/ Birth Parents: Biological mother or father of a child that is adopted or planning to be adopted (sometimes referred to as natural or first mother/father).
Closed Adoption: Adoption in which confidentiality of both adoptive parents and birth parents are protected under the law, the courts seal all records.
Consent: The legal document signed by the birth mother and birth father allowing their child to be placed for adoption (also referred to as a surrender or relinquishment).
Finalization: Court action that grants permanent legal custody of a child to the adoptive parents.
Home Study: A study that is conducted on all prospective adoptive parents by an authorized adoption professional in their state. A home study is normally completed prior to placement of a child in the home and validates suitability to adopt for the courts.
Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children (ICPC): The legal compact between states that allows for the placement of children for adoption across state lines. Required when the birth mother and adoptive parents reside in different states.
Living Expenses: Expenses in adoption that help the birth parents with items such as rent, food, clothing and utilities. Living expenses are provided by prospective adoptive parents and are provided based on the birth parents' needs and state laws.
Match: When a birth mother and adoptive family are connected in anticipation that the birth mother will place her baby with that adoptive family.
Open Adoption: An adoption where birth parents and adoptive parents meet, names and addresses may be exchanged and communication may continue indefinitely; terms of open adoptions vary greatly depending on the needs and comfort levels of everyone involved.Post-Placement Visits: Meetings and interviews with an adoptive family once a child has been placed with them that is typically conducted by the professional who completed the home study.Semi-Open Adoption/Semi-Closed Adoption: Adoption where the adoptive family and birth parents may talk, meet and have correspondence after the adoption, but little or no identifying information is exchanged.

**courtesy of americanadoptions.com who put out a wonderful newsletter geared toward adoptive and birth families several times a month.

Parenthood

It is difficult to believe but Emory has been in this world for 1 week and 1 day. We have been with him, caring for him for a week. I am not sure if it seems a longer or shorter amount of time. We are becoming a family, Emory, Blake and myself. We are awaiting our court date for our official decree of adoption in Lori's home state. We have been and will be staying in hotels and with relatives until our waiting period is complete here.

Lori seems to be doing well. She is focusing on school and her relationship with her boyfriend (who is not Emory's biological father). I selfishly had never considered how all of this must have effected their relationship...her running off to Texas to stay with virtual strangers over Thanksgiving and giving birth to another mans child.

I am so exhausted from early morning feedings, difficulty burping, healing from circumcision, etc. that I really cannot share all of what I am feeling right now. My heart is very full!!

At any rate we have started a web page so our friends and family can look at pictures of Emory while we complete our stay in the state of Babyville.

http://emorywright.shutterfly.com/

Enjoy!

Babyville here we come!

I’m not sure if you guys have noticed but Emory will be born tomorrow!!!!
I know, I know… I have left you all without an update for so very long. I apologize. I was sick off and on and then what with getting everything prepared for people to take over while I am out on my maternity leave…well it has been a little hectic.
I also must admit that in the past couple of weeks I have used work to distract me from the stress that I was experiencing as the final days passed. You see, I learned a powerful lesson when I got married and worked up through the Wednesday before getting married on Friday. If you are going to work right up to these big life events then you have to do just that. Work. If you (or if I) divide my attention between the coming life event and think about every detail (as I like to do) and the work, it will drive you crazy and quite frankly it makes me a bit of a bitch not to mention a basket case! I think I managed pretty well these past few days if I do say so myself.
I focused on the work and rarely allowed myself to think about all the rest…all the things I have absolutely no control over whatsoever. It is very nerve wracking. It must be difficult enough being the person giving birth to the baby. That being Lori in this case, of course. Thank GOD she is having a C-section. At least that much of the “plan” I could plan on.

That is the only thing that has allowed me any sanity has been “my plan”. Anytime someone wanted to mess with my plan it really threw me for a loop! At some point someone somewhere wanted to change a piece of the plan…I think it was whether we needed to arrive in babyville (that is what I am calling where Emory will be born to protect Lori’s privacy) on Sunday or move it up to Saturday. Wow, even something so simple nearly sent me off the deep end!
I (we) are so excited but also full of anxiety. Basically fear of the unknown. What will it be like in the hospital? How will Lori feel? How will we feel? Are we all ready? I think we are…we certainly have enough stuff for him. We have read What to Expect the First Year, or at least all that is pertinent to us at this point. We took a Baby Basics class where we learned how to swaddle the baby, how the bathe the baby, and Blake learned how to open the little sticky tabs on the diaper as he had never seen one up close and personal (what have I gotten myself into!).
Now what about Lori, you ask. She is very ready for Emory to exit her body. She has felt like she is about to pop for at least 2 weeks now! I actually developed enough courage (via text message-that is where most all my most difficult questions are asked of late) to ask her if she is still feels good about Blake and I being Emory’s parents? She replied “Of course, you don’t even have to ask that. You and Blake are Emory’s parents and always will be.” Whew. No one (except another adoptive parent) can understand how good it feels to hear that. I spoke to Francesca (my friend who is an adoptive mother) about it. She commented about how that is such a difficult thing to ask, but if you don’t it will just eat you alive.
As you may remember, it is still a possibility that Lori could decide to parent the baby. I don’t think that will happen but a small little part of me has to stay prepared for that possibility. Yesterday we were texting about how things will kind of “go” while we are all at the hospital. She said that she imagined we would all be together with him in her room. I think that sounds great. I also suggested that while she is resting (a c-section has to be draining…no pun intended) we spend some time alone with Emory in the nursery. And, we will need to head to our room at the Hampton Inn to get our last night of uninterrupted sleep before he leaves the hospital on Tuesday. That will give her an opportunity to see him without us if she wants to. She said that she wants to spend as much time with us and him as possible as long as we are comfortable with it because he is our baby. Our baby! WOW! Leaving with us on Tuesday! WOW!!! Can you believe it!! Sorry for my digression… I think we have to trust her. She trusts us with raising and being the parents of this child. I have to believe that she knows what she is capable of dealing with.
We have grown to love this girl. Blake commented once that we would adopt her too if we could (I hope that doesn’t sound condescending). We want her to be a part of our lives and a part of Emory’s life as long as we don’t think it is to his detriment. If he becomes confused by all of it or was somehow a troubled child having a birthparent be a fixture might be more problematic but aside from that we anticipate her being a part of our lives in some capacity.
Yes, we have only committed to one visit a year for the first two years of his life but we absolutely want to stay in touch. After all, as much as we may want to we may never be able to adopt again. Shit ain’t cheap. That being said, any child Lori has will be Emory’s brother and/or sister and we certainly don’t want to deprive him of that. I guess we will cross that road when we come to it. I have read EXTENSIVELY about relationships of adoptive parents with birth mothers. They come in all shapes and sizes and the "open" part of an open adoption can be whatever a family needs it to be. Soon I will do an Adoption 101 post to help everyone understand some of the terms I may use time to time.

A huge “thank you” to everyone who has supported us through all of this process…Our family for literally giving us untold amounts of money so we could do this, the friends & family who put together showers for us, the people who came and gave us things to help us get ready for Emory, to Gretchen (seamstress extraordinaire-Carrie she could totally help you with your headband situation), to Lauren for watching our four legged children, and our co-workers for supporting us and covering for us to allow us to have this incredible part of our journey together!!!
More to come! I promise.