I would love to post a picture of her because she is so SUPER CUTE, but want to respect her privacy. Perhaps after we get to know her better I will have the courage to tell her about my blog and she can decide what information I share via posts. Until then you will only get the broad strokes...
Her name is Lori. She is 19 years old. She lives in a state that is definately part of the south and borders Texas. She is attending college at a small state school there. We were her 1st choice as adoptive parents for her baby. When asked why she chose us she responded because we included our dogs (Sam and D.J.) in our pictures on our webpage and talked about them in our "Dear Birthmother letter". She is going to school to become a vet. Also, it looks as though we go on alot of vacations and it is important to her that her child be able to experience that.
Her father passed away when she was 4 years old and her mother when she was 14. She lived with a guardian that was choosen by her mother from the time of her mother's death until she was emancipated at age 16. Needless to say this young lady has had her share of heartache.
All of that being said, we could not be more impressed with the maturity and selflessness she possesses. Never mind the whole "carrying a baby for 9 months and placing it with a family you know can provide a better life for it than you can right now" thing. In some open adoptions the birth parent(s) continue a relationship with the adoptive parents and the adoptive child post placement...so after the baby goes home with the adoptive mommy & daddy. Our adoption consultant, Tammy (who by the way has been incredible), mentioned that Lori wanted pictures and updates on the child every couple of months for the first two years and 2 times a year every years thereafter. That was no problem. I would find it strange if a birth mother didn't want something similar to that. She also to be able to see the baby post placement...well, we assumed that she meant one time. Not so. She meant ongoing...this is just not something we are open to.
Because that was something she wanted and we were not open to, Tammy (adoption consultant) had to call and offer to her to find other adoptive parents that would be more open to post placement visits.
Get this. Lori said "They are my 1st choice and if this is the only thing that we do not agree on and it is something I want it would be selfish of me to pick other parents because of something I want." WOW! Now I don't know about you guys but we were very impressed with this...particularly coming form a 19 year old. A 19 year old girl obviously wise beyond her years. In her paper work she states that she wants to pursue her dreams of becoming a vet and wants her child to grow up with TWO parents because she was unable to do so.
Lori is due on March 17th (or 19th or 20th, we've heard several dates; I like the 17th). So right now she is 18 weeks pregnant. She describes herself as having wavy blond hair, green eyes and olive skin. Lori says that she is a "jeans & t-shirt girl". She describes herself as being fun loving, ambitious, energetic, HONEST (she wrote it in all caps), blunt, very friendly, never met a stranger and talkative...Who does that sound like?? She is 5'1" (not everyone has to be tall Blake) and the birth father is 6'. Blake and I had the pleasure of speaking on the phone with her for about an hour and a half last Friday night. Currently we are making plans to go and meet her in person.
This bring up an interesting question. What does one wear to meet the birth mother of one's child (or someday baby)? We will let you know...
No comments:
Post a Comment